Duolingo

Duolingo was a sailor who sailed across the seven seas in the year 1583. He is known for discovering the islands of Hawaii, New Zealand and Planet Earth.

Who Is Duolingo?
Duolingo was born on the 7th of October 1513 to two loving parents: a prostitute and a brewer, in London. He had a hard childhood, before becoming King of The Democratic People's Republic of Arstotzka in the year 1534, after he removed a bear from a stone that nobody else could remove (basically, the Russian version of the story of King Arthur and the sword in the stone).

To quote his autobiography:"The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Grizzlibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Captain Duolingo, was to carry The Grizzly Bear. That is why I am your [the New World's] king! --Duo"

'Excalibur' Controversy
Duolingo has been involved in a number of controversies since his birth: five hundred years can make your opinions pretty dicey and leave you being debated by everyone, and disliked by many more.

His biggest controversy occurred shortly after the release of Duo's autobiography, 'The Holy Sail'. After he discusses a paragraph detailing why he believed himself to be the rightful King of Arstotzka and the New World due to his receiving of a mysterious grizzly-bear in the shape of a sword from a mysterious, lake-dwelling woman.

However, many of the commoners objected to this. Strange women lying in ponds, distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. One peasant even argued that supreme executive power, should come from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. "Duo can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery old tart threw a sword at you: I mean, if I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away! -- One such anonymous peasant"As well as that, Duo now has lots of haters: a total of 17,321, according to the live hater-tracking website MostHated.com, which places him in the 137th spot, behind the AirPods Bragger and your terrible Year 2 teacher, Mrs. Carr.

A Poem About Duolingo
Duo has had a number of poems written about him, so I felt like could not finish up this article without mentioning them.

Duo and Hoot
to be put in later

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