A List of My Lawsuits

This page acts as a list of all of my past, present and future lawsuits I have filed against various parties. As this list is incomplete, feel free to add more.I can't believe I have to put this here but it's a joke, if you're so dim you couldn't yet even tell

Also credit to the main man Weird Al for some of these

Technology
I sued Panasonic: they never said I couldn't use my microwave to dry off my cat!

I sued Duracell, they never told me not to shove that double-A right up my nose!

Ugh.

I sued Dell Computers: I took a bath my laptop, now it doesn't work!

I sued Verizon: I get all depressed, any time my iPhone goes roaming!

Food and Beverages
I sued Taco Bell, because I ate half a million Chalupas and I got fat!

I sued Coca Cola yo since I stuck my finger down the hole in the toppa the bottle, and it got stuck!

I sued Starbucks, because I spilled a frappucino in my lap, and boy, was it cold!

I sued the individual Domino's Pizza delivery guy, since he delivered my pizza  thirty seconds late!!!!11 

I sued Toys R Us, cause I swallowed a Nerf bullet, and subsequently choked to death.

Shops
I sued Toys R Us, cause I swallowed a Nerf bullet, and subsequently choked to death.

I sued HOME Timber & Hardware, as they sold me a cheap hammer which they KNEW I might drop on my poor lil' toes!

I sued City Farmers yo, 'cause I ate a bag of kitty litter, now I got bad breath!

Miscellaneous
I even sued Earthlink. I called them up: and they had the nerve to put me on hold! I sued Bonds Clothing, 'cause when I wear the undies on my head, I look like a twerp!

I sued the US state of Alabama (for obvious reasons)

Personal
I sued this chick, because she stood me up on a date, even though mum drove me all the way out there.

I sued Delta Airlines, because they sold me a ticket to Brisbane: I went there, and it sucked!

I sued my neighbours, because they put up their Christmas decorations like seven months or something out of season.

I sued the crowd at a crappy concert I gave after they didn't catch me when I jumped into the crowd, leading to me having several irreparable spinal injuries and plunging me into thousands and thousands of dollars of debt.

I sued Luke Schaudin, because I hear from my sources 'bout what he set as his phone wallpaper, in Pig Latin

I sued my mate Bradley: aww, do I even need a reason?

I sued my neighbours a second time, after I sprained my ankles while I was out robbing their luxurious, air-conditioned place.

I then went after my neighbours in court for a third time, after hurting my knuckles when I punched the homeowner in the face after he said 'Whatcha doing'? as I lay on the ground due to ruining my ankle while I was attempting to rob his place.