My honest confessions

This is a list of my honest confessions about everything. You'll be very MAD at me after you read this, no matter who you are.


 * I faked sick when I had to write up an English story and pulled an all-nighter
 * I gave you my nosebleed-y tissue to use as Dracula teeth in your Halloween costume
 * I didn't want to come to your birthday party so I moved to Canada and started a family-of-three and a successful Bed & Breakfast in rural Larador in the far-East of Canada
 * When a waiter told me, "Enjoy your food!" at a great dim sum restaurant, I foolishly replied "You too mate!"
 * Was once a hardcore Pewdiepie fan and begged my mates to subscribe (unsuccessfully)
 * I failed my recent maths test, I got a fourty-three on it and I mixed it in with the cat food so she would eat it and erase all traces of its existence
 * I am the rightful King of England, but my throne was stolen from me by an outside faker by the name of Elizabeth in a coup d'etat (unlawful military takeover of government), I am the RIGHTFUL MONARCH of the United Kingdom and I WILL RETAKE my throne. Can I count on you to join me as we restore honour to the Throne and the Kingdom? Hit me up at fredericocarnegie@gmail.com
 * My favourite musician is "Weird Al" Yankovic
 * I commented 'First!' on a YouTube video, even while I knew there were already eight comments posted
 * I have fathered children in all the legit regional towns (AIb4ny, P3rth, G3raldt0n, Br00m3, 3xm0uth, Bu55el7t0n, Y0rk, 3sp3r4nc3, N0rth4m and T00dj4y)
 * (zero is O, three is E, five is S, seven is L)
 * I was the one who unleashed the hilarious *thing* that spread like wildfire across the school (27/11/2020)
 * I smoked my grandfather's ashes and it was okay, to be honest
 * I blu-tacked a Wild plus-four card under the table once to cheat against my grandma, aunt, sister and good mate in a game of UNO (I'm sorry)

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